There is no SQL entry in the add/remove programs?

Sometime starting the setup again will get you to the remove all feature setup.

I found this is a newsgroup:
Failed to start the database service MSSQL$OfficeServers. Repair this product by
selecting it from the Add/Remove Programs menu. Here’s the solution: Go to
“regedit”, browse thru “HKLM_Local_Machine/Software/Microsoft/Shared
Tools/Web Server Extensions/12.0/WSS/”. Then change the value of attribute
named “ServerRole” from SINGLESERVER to APPLICATION
From:
social.msdn.microsoft.com/.../searchserverinstallconfigandadminstra\
tion/thread/104e2875-37be-4506-94ff-6762f19345f8

This fixed my problem. thanks

Always start with the most simplest thing:
cosier.wordpress.com/.../

This is a good blog. I was not upgrading my server just a new install of
windows 2008 Server R2 using the advanced options for stand-along, single
server.

A standalone installation of SharePoint will use the Windows Internal
Database (WID). This is an embedded copy of SQL Express that is used
specifically for SharePoint or things like Windows Server Update Services
(WSUS). It can't be removed from Add/Remove programs. The following
Microsoft Support article explains.

http://support.microsoft.com/kb/920277

The underlying problem could be a number of things. I would suggest
re-running the SharePoint setup program to try to repair the installation.
If that doesn't work uninstall SharePoint and use the support article above
to remove WID. Then try re-installing. Remember you can only have one
instance of WID on the server, so if you are using the server for something
else like WSUS that could be the problem.

I assume the msiexec command will work on a x64-based
addition of windows 2008 server r2.

It should. It's the command line for the Windows Installer service.