Some of this is venting, but if anybody does have some ideas, I'll take
them.

Why is it that you have to leave the Default first site running in IIS?
I laid out my server such that the Default site was stopped and my real
site is on under a different name. Now Sharepoint is being a pain about
all of the defaults being there. Why can't they simply install it as a
separate site and allow you, the admin, to determine port and header
like you want.